At the heart of it

Yesterday I realized who I am in a big way. Moving to Hoboken, and being in the city all the time has shown me a new world. In a big way, a world focused on the self and pressures-pressures to be gorgeous, stylish, thin, rich, successful, intelligent, etc.

I have always known that my industry (music, film, entertainment) requires some of this, but have always been able to not focus on that and to focus on my main goal of being able to make a person's day, make them smile, and hopefully inspire them through what I do.

I must admit, being surrounded by New York, has made me feel the pressure. It made me forget what I have inside my heart, who I really am, that I can never let go of.

Yesterday, I was a clown in the Bronx, NY. I had never been to the Bronx, so I was a little nervous in how to get there by subway. The subway I wanted was actually closed, but luckily a woman who needed the same subway, showed me what buses to take and other subways and we journeyed together. She was so kind. Sometimes when I ask people for directions in the city, I feel like I have taken so much of their time, but she was so helpful and caring.

When I arrived and changed into my clown costume, I was positioned in a chair on a side walk to give children balloons and tattoos for free. I cannot tell you, how happy it made me feel. I counted to 30 with the children in their native languages as I put tattoos on them and waited for them to be done. Many of the children were from Pakistan, so we counted in Urdu, while others were Spanish. They giggled as I tried to remember my high school Spanish with them. They kept asking me why I was giving them balloons and I said "To make you smile, you are smiling, aren't you?" They laughed some more. The kids were having so much fun and were so full of life. They all had so much joy and it was so nice to see that. An old women came up to me and said, "You are so beautiful! Are you just a clown or what?" I said, no, I sing and went to college. "Sing something now!" She said. I was a little taken aback, but I sang a little. "You are gonna make it kid," She said. "What are you, 18?"
I replied, "No, I am actually 24." She was so embarrassed and said well you look 18.

The day was so rewarding for me. I could have stayed there all day doing this. An energy company called Citizens Choice Energy was promoting their product as I handed out balloons, and when time was up, I stayed longer to give a few more balloons.

The company said, "You work so well with children!"...and then I remembered who I am, what is inside my heart, what is bigger than everything superficial on television, with over production of music, with money. The big picture is Happiness. I like to spread happiness. It gives me so much joy to see children, not caught up in the bigger world yet, with a genuine love of life. I never want to lose that, and I want to give that all the time with everything I do. Inside ourselves is always the true you, do you know the true you? It brought tears to my eyes when a child got so excited over a tattoo I gave them or a balloon, just hearing them laugh at my silly banter.

If I can make at least one person smile each day, that means more to me than anything. I honestly don't know why this is, but if I ever become societies view of "success", I hope that I never lose sight of that! We are the world and we have impact with every choice we make and every thing we do! How will you affect the world today?