Back to Me

Today I had a crazy realization. I was running on the treadmill and realized that I have found myself. In the past three months, a lot has happened. I let go of a lot of things, pondered a lot, and really focused my life. I think sometimes in life, stuff happens that makes us stray from our true self. Circumstances, people, insecurities, etc.

I lost 40 pounds recently and although that is great, the biggest thing was that I got back into fitness and back to not letting the exterior of me get in the way of who I really am. I used to be crazy into fitness and was certified as a personal trainer, but many things pulled me away from that. I used to eat healthy and be all about the power of food for your body, but that too I strayed from. I remember the best thing about working out every day was that it made me more focused on all the goals in my life. I am back into fitness now and have gained a lot of knowledge on health and fitness and just want to pay it forward in as many ways as I can. As I ran 5 miles today, I realized I went back to the true me, the fit me, the girl who always looks to go forward, not fall behind.

I have realized what I do need and do not need in my life as well. It is funny how you can grow so much, but people can see you in the same way. I used to ask questions or not be confident about things that I already knew the answer too. I guess you could say that I held back in fear, but now I have more direction with my wants and actions. I have realized what I truly love and what I deserve and not to settle for anything less. It is crazy to think of some of the guys I dated that I knew weren't right for me, but I stayed dating out of thinking the guy of my dreams wouldn't like me. It is even crazier to think of people I hung around whom I didn't feel the best around, but it was someone to hang out with. We all deserve to be surrounded by people who enrich our souls, not pull us down.

I have narrowed down my biggest interests. I love singing, acting, people, working with children, fitness, and improv. If I can continue living my life incorporating these things in my jobs, I will be happy with my work. I believe happiness is yours and yours alone. There is no need to prove yourself to other people, unless you need that to be happy. Success is what success is to you. If you will be happiest having an amazing 9 to 5 job that makes you tons of money, then awesome, but if you will be happiest doing a million jobs, that incorporate everything you love, but may not make as much, that is great too. Find your own happiness and find people who support your happiness.

I have learned to listen more, be more patient, deal directly with emotions instead of coping them with something else, to be open, and to push my limits. I think if you want something bad enough, it can happen. Think of a goal and conquer it...I dare you!